Suite 3508

BONG. BONGGG. The belltower strikes eleven. I glance down. I struggle to contain the slight sense of vertigo as I stare down at the 6 story drop below me. Panic slowly begins to build as visions of gruesome, disfigured bodies sprawled across the bricks below begin to form in my head. DTH headlines scroll in front of my eyes: STUDENT DIES FROM STUPIDITY! PIECES OF STUDENT GATHERED AS ONLOOKERS SHAKE THEIR HEAD! DTH CELEBRATES NON-FOOTBALL-SCANDAL RELATED HEADLINE!

But wait. I am getting ahead of myself. No use starting at the climax. Both literally and figuratively…. Oh, I crack myself up. Bad allusions aside, how about some setting?

Tuesday night. The gang was gathered in the suite as normal. Oddly enough, it was on the quiet side, with debates not being held in their normal volume level of YELLING-IN-A-MODERATELY-IRONIC-MANNER. No cap guns had been fired yet either. Strange.

I, for one, was not accomplishing anything. Not that this is unusual in any sense, but it sets the scene. Nash is sitting to my right, studying for his Sports Management midterm the next day. His phone rings.

“Hey Stephen. Yeah I need to return your book. Where are you?” Pause. “Wait where? On top of… oh ok. Well I’m coming to bring you your book.” My ears perk up. Adventure? Maybe. A chance to procrastinate on my work even longer? Definitely. My choice was made.

Nash and I set off across campus. I have no idea where we are going at this point. I’m doing that awkward-brisk-walk-with-random-half-skip so I can keep up with Nash’s long legged stride. Never ones to pass up an opportunity for deep, introspective, and soul revealing talks, Nash and I engage in a heartfelt discussion over the difficulties men face when hugging someone who is taller than them. (Of course, the obvious solution is to go for the awkward, white guy, one-armed side hug. Duh.)

Finally I spot Stephen in the distance. Not too many other tall, bearded men hanging out in the alleyway between campus buildings at this time at night, strangely enough. His friend Emma is leaning on the railing next to him. Quick introductions are made. Nash hands over the textbook in a manner reminiscent of a drug deal. (“So, uhhh, *cough* you got it?” Cue shady glances and coat shuffling).

Content, that no, we were not being watched (whew), Stephen and Nash begin an avid discussion of the academic merits of their Sports Management course. I mean, since it is an upper level science course after all, they do discuss very difficult subject matters. Like this diagram:

Or this one:

Notice anything missing? You know, like maybe a y-axis? Title? Units? A x-axis that doesn’t contain two variables?

Ehh, who needs properly formed graphs anyway right? We share a few good laughs and head shakes. Then suddenly, Stephen stops, swiftly surveys the surroundings (legitimately this time), and goes “Okay, let’s go,” sprinting to a nearby nondescript door on the side of Venerable. The building Venerable. Yes, also, the title of this blog post. Ooooh it’s all coming together!

Now, at this point I am slightly confused. Are we supposed to follow him? Or is Stephen just really bad at saying goodbye? My decision is made as both Emma and Nash follow Stephen.  A quick tug of the door reveals that no, it is not locked. Mwahahaha! (okay, the maniacal laughter was mostly internal and almost exclusively attributed to me).

Inside, we are greeted by a flight of stairs. Which we climb, naturally. [Naturally being used as a synonym for logically, not “in a natural manner”, naturally.] This flight of stairs leads to another flight of stairs. And another. 6 stories later, we arrive at the top. A single white unmarked door lay in front of us. Stephen opened it, gallantly holding the door for rest of us. In retrospect, that was probably very smart of him; if imminent death lay on the other side, he at least would have a heads up. (I’m on to you, Stephen)

However, we do not immediately die. Whew. Instead, there, on the floor was a painted yellow path. I mean, I don’t know about you, but my first instinct is to skip arm in arm, butchering a classic showtune. I attribute my ability to quell these urges to the desire to still have friends.  The rest of the room is equally as intriguing. It’s a giant cement room, covered in pipes, strange machines, and more paths leading to unseen ends. I start twitching with the desire to go exploring. However, Stephen and Emma stride straight ahead (off the yellow painted path! Gasp!) and begin climbing the metal ladder in the middle of the room. And naturally, Nash and I follow. At the top of two ladder flights is a large hatchet, similar to that of a refrigerator door. Stephen opens it and the four of us clamber out into the darkness above…

(COMMERCIAL BREAK! *witty jingle*)

Returning to the story at hand… So there we are. The four of us. Standing in open air. Wind whipping at our skirts. (Okay, okay, to be fair, I’m the only wearing a skirt…). We glance around. There, laid out before our eyes, is all of campus, twinkling in the darkness. *Romantic sigh*

We are on the roof of Venable. No big deal.

So, naturally, the first thing one does in this situation is to go to edge and peak over. Unfortunately, it isn’t a sheer drop- more of a steep decline to the edge of the roof.  I admit, I am not quite as frightened as my opening paragraph suggests. (Hey, I had to say something to keep you guys reading!). My real immediate thought? Hmmm, I wonder if shingle-surfing is as easy as Quasimoto made it look… I back away from the edge. One of the meanings of the name Ellen might be graceful, but I was not about to hedge my life on the validity of meanings-of-names.com.

Strangely enough, on the center of the roof is a low wire, strung about a foot off the ground. Umm, can anyone explain to me why the designers of this building thought it necessary to include a tripwire on a roof? But of course, I had to leapfrog back and forth over it along the length of the roof. Other people might be able to say they been on the roof of campus buildings, but how many can say that they hopscotched over a tripwire on the top of a building at midnight?

The four of us hung out on the roof for about a half an hour, talking, joking around, locating our homes, and soaking up the view. Finally, duty called and we called it a night, heading back into the comfort of an enclosed room. (At this point I was very glad I decided to wear leggings, because otherwise poor Emma would’ve gotten quite a view on the ladder climb down).

We reconvened at the bottom of Venable, looked at each other, nodded once solemnly, and went our separate ways. And thus ended the great Venable Incident. The End.

Please feel free to include any comments or suggestions for new adventures at the bottom! I judge my self-worth based on the number of responses I receive. No pressure.

Peace.